How to pass an exam without studying.

I was chatting on Facebook the other day with a “friend” (you know how you get a friend request and you just accept it even though you don’t know the person). She was trying to do two things at once; studying and Facebooking  spending time on Facebook. Well I got news for you... It’s not impossible! Matter of fact, you don’t even have to study.                                 
The “good Mantrian” in me finally thought this out:  Why not help all those frustrated students all over the world? 



Mental transformation - It’s all in the mind. Say it with me, “It’s all in the mind... It’s all in the mind”. Whenever we are out having fun on weekends I always tell my friends that if you want to be a great dancer, all you have do is try to nod your head in rhythm with the music beats, once you get that right every other body part would automatically follow. The same with planning to pass an exam without studying  all you have to do is tell yourself that you are a genius and that you can do it and you are good to go. I did that once in college, guess what I got 0.4 out of 10 (c’mon now, it was C+ programming)


Eat healthy - A healthy diet, a healthy body, a healthy mind. You wouldn't wanna go into the exam room starving or constipated or even worse with diarrhea right? Farting in an exam room would only make the examiner mad at you; in fact it would make the people seated next to you, mad at you. So eat carefully.


Take a good night’s sleep - The bible says, “Let us eat and drink; for tomorrow we die”. A lot of centuries passed and a great soldier named Ernesto Che Guevara said the same words to his fellow soldiers before a battle, “Eat, drink and have merry; for tomorrow we perish”. Now unlike the bible or Che Guevara, you should understand that you aren't going die tomorrow, it’s just an Exam that you are trying to pass without studying... so don’t drink or have merry. Instead go sleep and ease your mind.


Avoid Pessimists - You know those students that always see negativity in everything? They like calling themselves realists; well it’s that kind of thinking that could make you fail that exam. The thing about Pessimism is that it is very contagious (spreads like a fucking plague). So stay away from people that keep saying, ‘this exam is gonna be difficult’ or ‘if you don’t study, you’ll fail’ instead, hang out with folks that say ‘do you know that (x times x) X x X is triple X?’ 

Have a backup plan - 4 years ago, some friends of mine went to a party and ate so much food (just because it was free) that their stomachs started to ache. Unfortunately, water was missing in toilet. Well, to make a short story long, they improvised and used their socks to wipe the shit off. NASTY huh?I don’t think so… that was like the brilliant backup plan ever! Just like Bear Grylls. So go into the exam room with a backup plan (I didn't use the word ‘CHEAT’ ey?)


So there you go: How to pass an exam without studying. Thank me later.

Disclaimer (for those people that would wanna sue me or use this as an explanation as, why they failed):  This process might not work for everybody. Just like any medicine, this one has side effects too.

Wait wait, one thing I’m curious about though: If you had time to read this blog post, why didn’t you have time to study?

Tell me things I wanna hear.

Let me introduce you to a very good friend of mine, Pauly Bindra the Octopus (*Note: He's NOT Paul the Octopus). Pauly has a special power. He's psychic. Someone who can predict the future! Who won unlikely worldwide fame by predicting the outcome of all the matches at the 2010 Football World Cup. He's mystic powers have earned him a lot of fans, friends and enemies alike.

So I decided to ask him something about my future. So here're some questions I asked him.

....And he's dead now.

RIP Pauly Bindra.

The Perfect Size.

How many of you fellas out there ever bought your girlfriend/wife panties? Anyone? NO?

One of my friend told me that he's going to gift a panty to his girlfriend on the Valentine's day. And I was like "Panty?? Seriously dude you deserve my salute, a middle finger salute "

Okay!! The point is, buying panties for her is so romantic in her point of view which is all good considering the fact that you are supposed to make her feel that way; special and shit. 

But back to reality, an important issue struck my mind; choosing the right size could be a major problem. And most of the girls tend to get mad when you don't get one that fits them right. Complaints like, "We've been together all this time and you don't even know which size I wear?" (Woman! I don't even know which size I wear!). Which will later lead to discussions with her BFFs talking about 'How the small things you do matter'... blah blah blah.

That's why I came to the conclusion that I'll buy my future partner panties accompanied with a list of other things;

•  Pair of scissors
•  Sewing thread
•  Needle
•  A tape Measure

(One more thing, Don't buy her Thongs or G-strings. Adjusting those is gonna need a real tailor)

Now the gift packing is always important. Ask the person at the store to do the packing for you, no matter how good you think you are at packing gifts you won't do it right. Remind them to put that lil red ribbon on top.

Give her the gift and let her try it on. Now, Three scenarios would be there; Either, it's too big for her OR it's too small for her OR if you are lucky enough, a Perfect fit. The third scenario never happens.

If scenario 1 happens, use the scissor, thread and needle to do the reduction. If scenario 2 happens, look for a pair of socks that you do not use, cut out a piece add it onto the small underwear and she's good to go.

An even better option, drop the freaking idea of gifting her underwear and go buy her another gift. Fair and square.