I would freak the fuck out if I saw that thing walking up my stairs.

This is the best unintentionally horrifying video I’ve seen in a long time. There’s hardly a second in this video that isn’t deeply disturbing.


Here are some highlights:


0:01: One second in, and this person clearly has no concept of where Minnie’s head is facing. Also, why is this video being shot in a staircase?


0:03: The balloons aren’t filled with helium so when this person waves, they’re really just waving around a bunch of sad balloons. It’s like they forgot they were holding balloons in the first place.


0:06: Why did the person in the Minnie costume walk up the steps and then down them? Was there someone off-camera shooing them down the steps and whispering, “You know you can’t leave the basement! Get down there!”? Is this person being forced to wear the Minnie Mouse costume?


0:11: If this is a happy birthday video for one kid, then why did she just say hello to five different kids?


0:22: You know that time Jitendra sang “Happy Birthday” to Babita and it was tolerable? This is the opposite of that.


0:28: Another clumsy balloon wave. The fact that she(?) is crammed into a staircase makes it even more depressing.


0:36: This is apparently a video for someone named Aaron Gonzaga, but that sign definitely says “HAPPY BIRTHDAY 3 TODAY AARON GONZARA.” It makes an otherwise desperate video look strangely insincere. If you’re going to force a sad person to wear a Minnie Mouse costume and sing to some kid over the Internet, at least give them an accurate sign.


0:45: The pitch of her voice combined with that little shimmy move makes me wonder if maybe this whole video is some kind of D-garde art performance and we’re just not in on it. Or maybe this video’s some kind of horrible crime footage? Who knows? That’s art for ya!


0:47 Why did she just violently shake the balloons like that? That actually looked kinda menacing. “See these limp balloons? Well, I’m shakin’ ‘em! And they’re YOU!”


0:55: Not realizing where her head is pointing, Minnie Mouse appears to be talking to the floor now.


1:00: That is the most terrifying giggle I have ever heard.


1:15: She just called herself Mickey Mouse. She is in a Minnie Mouse costume.


1:22: She appears to have run out of things to say and is just clapping and repeating “Happy Birthday, Aaron” until the person with the camera mercifully stops filming.


1:32: “See you soon in Disneyland” sounds like a weird plea when it comes from an adult shouting up at you from a staircase.


Sorry about the nightmares, everyone!