The Scientist.

Do you remember the last time you were truly happy?


I do. But that was a long time ago. Things change when you grow up. I remember saying to someone that you tend to laugh less as you get older. It's true. Don't you remember when you were still in kindergarden? And you used to laugh every second of the day. We used to paint colourful pictures back then with our crayons. Most of us drew our family holding hands together with a big sun in the background. Yes, those were the best of times. When we were carefree. Nothing to worry about in life. We always got what we wanted back then. If not, we'd cry and throw a tantrum till someone gave us what we wanted.


Life's not like that anymore. You can cry, or even throw a fit, but it doesn't always go your way. Yes, no matter how many tears you let out, some things will just never change. But hey, nobody ever said it was easy. You just got to take it on the chin and move on with life. Everything happens for a reason. For every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction. At least that's what it says in the books.

Reasons Why I Hate Sachin Pilgaonkar

He sucks
He dances like a girl
He is ugly like a tomato that is old and rotten
He is a lame actor with lame movies
He's gay
He is too botoxed
He's really short and has to sit on a Oxford Dictionary to drive
He sucks in singing. His songs damaged my eardrums, left and right
He is overrated
He tries to act, sing and dance like a pro. But the fact is he can't really act, sing or dance
He has a 'Retard' sign on his forehead. I saw it!
He nicknamed himself as MAHAGURU (Mahaguru? My arse)
He compares himself with Kishore Kumar
He thinks no end of himself
He's actually bald and he just wears a weird wig


So there you have it. My reasons for hating Mr. Sachin Pilgaonkar. Now run along before I go madly insane.

Years Pass By And Only Memories Are Left Behind.

Another year has passed. It sucks that 2011's already ending. I was just getting used to it. What can I say about 2011? It's been one hell of a ride for me. Ups and downs, but mostly downs for me. Lost my brand new iPhone, lost my bicycle, someone stole my father's bike, jewellery went missing from home. Nonetheless it has been a year of learning for me. I have gained a lot of experience to carry with me in 2012 and the years to follow. I can't say I enjoyed it too much, but at times when I did I felt like I was on top of the world. 


Like any other year, I don't have any new year's resolutions bullshit. I don't believe in these kind of stuff honestly. I do look forward to 2012, whether the world is gonna end in 12 months time we'll have to wait and see. But I want this year to be the year of travelling. I want it to be full of adventure if possible. So if the world does end, I'll have no regrets. I'm gonna live it as if the world is gonna end. 


I have a feeling after a year of disappointment, 2012 will be good to me. If there's one thing I have learnt in 2011 is that nothing ever goes as planned. And it's better to keep quiet 99% of the time. And the world is not what you think it is.. Okay, that's more than one thing, but like I said I have learnt a lot. Maybe we can meet up one day and I'll tell you what I've been through. 


I just wanna wish everyone a happy new year and I hope it turns out to be a great year for everyone.

Eat, pray, live, laugh, love.

Is It Right To Stare At A Woman's Rear?

Women are such beautiful creatures. When I said they're beautiful I mean physical beauty. It is said that the creator spent a lot of time in designing the shape of a woman that he had to create man first, give him life then continue with designing of a woman. Their beautiful faces, their soft skin and their sweet voices but most of all their body morphology. But let me not talk that much about that and go back to what I actually wanted to write.




Is it right to stare at a woman's rear?  ... YES ... NO... YES..

I think the right answer would be "SOMETIMES". Majority of you might disagree, but please just let me say what I've got to say and you can say what you want to say by posting a comment, deal? 


When I was in a bus last week, something happened. There was only one seat available, when a woman with quite a big 'behind' entered. There was no way possible that she could fit in the seat available so she decided to stand. Now most bus conductors don't like it when passengers stand. They normally say "Basun Ghya. Nahi Tar Pudhe Chala" --That is "Sit or Move". The conductor turned and was about to tell the lady to sit on the remaining seat, but by looking at the huge package that the woman had, he stared for  while... swallowed so much saliva at once and turned back.


That's when I got the answer for the question I asked. "SOMETIMES, it's alright to stare" Staring is actually looking at something with fixed eyes. The conductor had to calculate the size of the woman's rear and calculate the size of the available seat, then his brain calculator must have brought an ERROR. So he just turned back. But how can I answer the question basing on only one scenario? OK here's another..




Now I'll ask the question one more time, Is it right to stare at a woman's rear?

And you know the answer now... SOMETIMES.

"Four Things" About Me.

Four jobs I have had:
1. Director of Dinnerware Sanitation and Distribution (i.e. Dishwasher)

2. Senior Target Deployment Specialist (i.e. Call Center Executive)

3. Advanced Concrete Placement Coordinator (i.e. Laborer at a precast concrete company. I say "Adavanced" because I spoke English and could use a tape measure)

4. Compliant Data Mining Technician (i.e. data entry slave at some data processing company)

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. Rang De Basanti
2. 3 Idiots
3. Dumb and Dumber
4. Deshdrohi

Four places I have lived: 
1. B/302.
2. B/302, Gopchar.
3. B/302, Gopchar, Dr. Annie Besant Road.
4. B/302, Gopchar, Dr. Annie Besant Road, Worli, Mumbai-400018.

Four places I have vacationed:
1. Lonavla (age 10)
2. Mahabaleshwar (Bought a fake Rolex. I was 15)
3. Mangalore (age 23)
4. Alibaug 

Four people I hate the most:
1. Sachin Pilgaonkar
2. Sachin Pilgaonkar
3. Sachin Pilgaonkar
4. And you too. 

Four of my favorite dishes:
1. Royal Doulton
2. Bohemian Crystal
3. Waterford
4. Chinet 

Oh wait, not Dishes, "Dishes":
1. Paani Puri (I think Paani-Puri should be declared as a national food of India.) 
2. Pav Bhaji.
3. Varan Bhaat ani Batatyachi Bhaji.
4. ANYTHING made with chicken.

Four sites I visit (almost) daily:
1. Google (With Safe Search OFF)
2. Twitter
3. Olx
4. Blogger (I'm the kind of guy who refreshes his own blog page so it looks like more people have viewed it.)

Four TV shows I love:
1. Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi
2. Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki
3. Balika Vadhu
4. Naa Aana Iss Des Laado

Four Cartoon shows I love:
1. Tom And Jerry
2. Oggy And The Cockroaches(Hindi Version)
3. Duck Tales
4. Spongebob Squarepants

Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now:
1. In bed.
2. In bed asleep.
3. In bed asleep laying next to my imaginary girlfriend.
4. In bed asleep laying next to my imaginary girlfriend without my imaginary dog and he's outstretched legs jabbing into my back.

Some Funny Facts

I got this email and was hilarious so thought of sharing it.


If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. 
 (Hardly seems worth it.) 


If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it !) 


The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.    (O..M.G.!) 


A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. 
        (In my next life, I want to be a pig..) 


A cockroach will live nine days without it's head before it starves to death.    (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.) 


Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work) 


The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the...?) 


The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?) 


The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) 


Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity) 


Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.) 


The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. 
 (Hmmmmmm...... not the guy's???) 


Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?) 


Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing) 


A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out.) 


An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.) 


Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.) 


Polar bears are left-handed. 
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer) 


Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??) 

Life In A Metro.

 The streetlights are our stars, forming constellations above our heads as we inhale fumes and cigarette smoke. 


Beggars lie across stained streets marked with cracks, gaps, and the remnants of old chewing gum and cigarette butts. If you focus hard enough, you might just catch the gleam of unwanted pennies that litter the floor like dust gathering along car dashboards. The homeless seem at peace though, and how could they not be. Staring up with their backs to the ground, there's nothing to do but confuse the city lights for the stars that shine behind them. 




The universe can only fade into the background.